In Honor of Pants

// May 19th, 2008 // Represent

In honor of the special pants of that inimitable raconteur and beloved pundit, my friend/acquaintance/culinary cruise director/whatever-you-prefer Andy Ihnatko,
I present a re-telling of Jonathan Coulton’s ‘Mr. Fancy Pants’. *ahem*

Chances are your pants are not as tactical as those
Ordered from the Internet by Andy Ihnatko
They’re functional but generously fitted in the groin
You can roll them up or down
Got zippers by the pound
He’s wearing Internet pants

You look in every catalog you shop at every store
but never find the perfect pair of pants you’re looking for
So you ask the Internet to recommend the best
The best in terms of fit
Can hold a ton of shit
You’re looking for Internet Pants

Sing a little praise for Andy’s Internet Pants
They’re tactical
And practical
With pockets deep
And wide

He makes the big announcement that he’s found the perfect pair
From all the multitudes of pants that he could choose to wear
If you’re the lucky sod who recommended them to him
You deserve a big award or
A place on IhnatCorp’s board
‘Cause Andy loves his Internet Pants

Sing a little praise for Andy’s Internet Pants
They transport DVDs.
‘Round ten with ease
With pockets so deep
And wide…

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